Linda clutched her heart with her hand in despair. A river of tears cascaded down her cheeks she kept scratching her chest but the itching was in her heart. She so badly wanted to touch the heart that was aching her but it was all in vain.
Linda looked at her phone as it lit up. It was him, Edmond was calling. Why was he calling her? They had nothing else to talk about. He had cheated on her and that was that. I watched her in silence, considering what I was to say to her.
She ignored his calls so he resorted to texts. Can we talk? Please forgive me. Answer my calls please. She saw it all but not a finger did she move to pick his calls. He was not ready to give up so he dared to call once more. And then another time. Linda was fed up so she decided she had to black list him.
“Why don’t you hear him out?” I asked. This came as a shocker for Linda.
I believed it could help her out. I thought listening to him could make a difference for her at least.
“Do you really believe he had a reason for cheating? What am I to listen to?” Linda asked amidst tears.
She was perplexed and angry at the same time. After a long debate, Linda decided to meet Edmond and “hear him out”.
Upon meeting Edmond, the first question she asked was why he had cheated on her. She believed she had loved him right. She believed she had done everything.
Where was she lacking? Edmond was flustered. He was confused. The only answer he had to this question was “I don’t Know.”
Just like Linda, many times when we get cheated on, we ask ourselves the same question over and over again. It is always the why that comes up in our heads.
Why did he cheat?
It keeps bothering our sub conscience . In the end, we generate our own insecurities by trying to come up with the answers to the ‘why’. Was I not good enough? Did I not try enough? Maybe I gave him a reason to. This goes on and on.
For some, they go ahead to confront their cheating partners in a bid to get the answer to the ‘why’ question and as for others, they are too scared to confront their partners either because they are afraid of losing them or they are afraid of facing the reality of a broken relationship.
Those that are afraid of confronting their partners always remain with their insecurities. They are never left the same but they cover it up with laughter and reassurance. But what about behind the scenes? Who will answer to the insecurities that have already been generated deep within their souls?
These insecurities will eat them up slowly but surely. Even if they ever moved on to the next partner, they shall never feel good enough for them. The insecurity was already embedded in their hearts and it remained uncleared or unsettled.
And for those that have the courage to face their cheating partners, well they never get the answer to the question they have.It is always an “I don’t know”. They receive an answer, only that it is not satisfactory.
Do men or women ever know why they cheat?
It has been and it shall forever be a question for debate. We can never tell for sure. If you are out there still trying to find out why a partner has cheated on you, it is safer to move on without an answer.
After all, even they themselves may not have the answer as to why they cheat. Whether be it an instinct or a sexual weakness, there can never be a justifiable reason as to why partners cheat on their fellows.
It is safer to move on after all even the famous African writer Chinua Achebe once wrote a book entitled ‘Things fall Apart.’ In other words, whatever is not meant to be shall never be so it is safer to let it go.
Keep in mind that in the process of letting go, you need to free yourself from all blame of the situation so that you can be free from insecurities.
Remember that the essence of courage is not that your heart should not quake, but that nobody else should know it does.
