Have you found yourself agreeing to doing something however tedious it is? Sometimes the reality is that you also tend to feel manipulated by the other party into doing this particular thing they asked you to do.
It gets to a point that when you do not do this particular thing, you tend to feel guilty. This is Dark Psychology.
Unlike psychology which is referred to as the study of human behavior and is central to our thoughts, actions, and interactions, Dark Psychology is the phenomenon by which people use tactics of motivation, persuasion, manipulation and coercion to get what they want. The line between psychology and Dark psychology is really thin you see.
Psychology makes life a little easier for you. You get to innocently get a few things done for you by another party and you also learn to read other people’s minds which in turn helps you to get along well with people around you. Dark psychology on the other hand is manipulative and it is used for selfish gains.
A person that practices dark psychology is usually known for using people and coercing them into doing things for them, sometimes things they would never have agreed to do unless of course they have been manipulated. Yes, Dark psychology is used by the heartless. Their only goal is to manipulate you into doing stuff for them. In other words, you are being used.
The reason for this article is to reveal a few dark psychology tricks to you such that you may not fall victim of a psychopath's stunts. Below are the dark psychology tricks that you should look out for.
Dark psychology tricks you need to know.
Love bombing.
We have all been love bombed at one point in our lives. You may meet someone new in your life. He will treat you quite right, shower you with lots and lots of attention (who doesn’t fall for that kind of treatment?). After all the constant calling, the checking up on you and the love declarations, this person suddenly stops every effort they have been up to.
At this point, you start to yearn for this attention that you have been receiving. You will find yourself searching out this person and trying to bridge the gap that they have created. In your desperation, you will show this person that you are missing them and guess what? This is what they wanted in the first place. For you to miss them. Watch out for this kind of toxicity so that you don’t become a victim of dark psychology.
Ghosting
Ghosting usually comes right after love bombing. After this particular person showers you with attention and love, they suddenly disappear to God knows where. In a few instances, they will come back to check on you, just to keep the connection functioning. As time goes by, you will get even more attached to this person. You are now dying to find out why all the attention just stopped.
Well, the heart surely wants what it wants. I am not quite sure why the heart gets attached to people that keep ignoring it, maybe it is the need to feel validated or something of the sort. Anyways, the point is that you will find yourself dying to reach out to this person. In the end, you will dance by their tune and do everything they say simply because you want to rekindle what you had before the ghosting and all.
Restricted Choice.
This trick is usually used by sales personnel. Watch out for this because it is quite easy to fall for. When you are in need of something, you will find yourself asking for the opinion of a sales person(who knows better than them, right? They have worked long enough in this business). The sales person already knows that once you are short of a choice because you have so much to choose from, they will restrict your choice.
They will give you two things to choose from. It may seem harmless but keep in mind that they have then dictated your price range for you as well. If you look closely, the restricted choice is usually in the same price range. In other words, this salesperson is leading you in the direction they wanted you to take.
Gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a situation whereby a person who is at fault leads you into questioning your own conclusions by dumping all fault on you for the wrong things they did. This is one of the worst of all the dark psychology tricks because it is reversed from the wrong door to the victim and guess what! The victim will end up apologizing for being angry over what has been done unto them.
In a relationship for example, you could get angry at your partner for cheating on you because of the messages you saw on his phone. While you are still feeling wronged, he will hit you with the good old “You went through my phone and encroached on my privacy.”. You then turn into the bad guy for snooping around. Guess who will apologize, huh?
Withdrawal
We have all had someone who was there for us, cared for us and made us feel like we really mattered right? Then there came a time when they withdrew completely. They set their walls high and never let you back in, they stopped communicating in every possible way and to make matters worse, they are there physically but mentally always very far from reach.
This is a dark psychology trick. It is usually used by people who want you to let go of them. They are not brave enough to face you and tell you to get out of their hair so they withdraw in order to give you space. This space is meant to make you rethink being with this person. This person is driving you away without even having to utter a word.
Thankfulness.
Have you been close to a person who is always thanking you even for the tiniest things? They are always thanking you even for passing them something small. That is a trick and you are being played. This person is embedding in you a habit and you will catch it even before you know it!
There will come a time when this person will stop thanking you. When this time comes, you will start to question yourself, whether you did something wrong but you did not. You will then want to seek appreciation from this person, which will lead you to do a lot of things for them just to hear them appreciate you like before. You are being used, wake up.
Silence.
When they say silence is the best medicine, do not take this as a joke. When you have been on good terms with someone and then they start going silent on you, you will realize that this is all just a trick. When someone goes silent on you, they expect you to keep following them around, asking why they are silent on you.
Be silent as well instead. Play this person in his/her own mind game. They will wonder why you too are silent and will want to find out hence breaking the silence. Try it and thank me later
Non reactivity.
Have you ever wondered why your significant other is always non reactive to everything? They just don’t want to guess what they are thinking and they don’t want you to understand them. They want to keep you in suspense. You may never have guessed this but your partner is just keeping you in check!
You will be afraid to even make a single mistake because you know that even when you error, you wont get a reaction from your partner . It scares you not to see your partner react so you choose to be the perfect partner that never errors. He/she has molded you into the perfect partner you see.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the main points of dark psychology?
The Core Concepts of Dark Psychology. At its core, dark psychology is based on two key principles: manipulation and persuasion. Manipulation involves using one's power or influence to gain control over another person; it often relies on deception or coercion
How can you tell if someone is using dark psychology?
You can spot a person high on the dark triad scale if they have a hard time being warm and friendly (especially if there's nothing to be gained from acting nicely), are prone to risk-taking, use aggressive or dark humor, have difficulty describing or understanding emotions, and have a wobbly moral compass.
Can anyone learn dark psychology?
Everyone can benefit from learning about dark psychology. By understanding how these techniques work, you can better defend yourself against them. And if you ever find yourself in a position where you need to use these techniques, you can be sure you're using them for good.
What are the three dark personality types?
The Dark Triad personality traits – narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism – can be toxic and damaging in the workplace. But be aware that someone exhibiting these traits may initially be a high achiever and potentially charming, conscientious and achievement-oriented.
How to read a persons mind?
Use active listening skills. Avoid interrupting them, listen, ask questions, give them time to answer, and listen some more. Deep conversations aren't the only way to understand someone else. Small talk gives you a chance to see how someone acts normally and when they're in a relaxed state.
