Do you have a manipulator in your circle? What do you think about cutting the cycle of manipulation then? It is quite easier than you may think. Manipulators are also referred to as mind controllers. Yes, that’s right! They can control your thoughts, your conscience and also most importantly, your emotions. Imagine being at the mercy of someone else?
Manipulators can influence your decision making so if you are not very careful, it is very easy to fall for their whims. Some times, they even go as far as making you do things for them, things that benefit them but actually make you uncomfortable. They are not only at your place of work but they could be among your family members, your workmates or even in your church(oh yeah, I just said that.)
Breaking the cycle of manipulation is very easy because it begins with you. The power to halt it is strictly in your hands and no one else can help you overcome manipulation! You definitely have the key to free yourself from manipulation, even when you may not know how to unchain yourself. Today, I am here to give you the few phrases you can use to claim your freedom from manipulation. In other words, am teaching you how to use your key.
Below are the phrases you can use to shut down a manipulator;
Phrases to shut down a manipulator.
Let us talk when your calm
Manipulators are very impulsive. They will want to catch you off guard and when they are trying to prove a point, they tend to be overly emotional( which of course is not real emotion they are displaying) but rather they want you to believe that they are so out of it that they are being emotional. When this happens however, do not lose your cool. Keep your stance and don’t give them the reaction they are dying to see.
Hit them with the classic “Let us talk when you are calm”. This will catch them off guard and they will lose their stance. It is a way of shutting down a manipulator and it simply shows them that their emotional tripping is not working on you.
Tell me what your really feeling.
We all know that manipulators are always pretending, most especially when it comes to their emotions. They are always trying to exaggerate something in order to enable them to get what they want from you. When a manipulator seeks you out and starts telling you about what they are feeling and how difficult it is to cope with what they are going g through, you need to be on your tiptoes because you cant be sure what they are telling you are their real emotions.
Shut them down with a “Tell me what your really feeling'. This will shut them down because you will have shown them that you are not falling for their lies and your alert when it comes to people of their kind.
I need space.
This is practically stalling. When someone who is trying to manipulate you approaches you, it is always for their benefit and not yours. Learn to take a step back and do not act impulsively. This is because a manipulator will always want to corner you and make you do what they want. They will bombard you in a way that it is hard to turn them down and if you rush to make a decision, you will definitely crash. Instead, try asking for space. Tell them you need space to think through everything they just told you. You will then think clearly about what to do next, don’t you think?
No, thank you.
Learn to say no. When you feel like someone is demanding from you something that you are not willing to offer, then it is better for you to totally refuse to give in. Do not agree to do a thing for anyone where you are inconvenienced or uncomfortable while this other party is benefiting from it. This means you are being manipulated.
Instead, learn to say No every now and then. You don’t want to do something, then do not bother doing it because it is your life and you should be able to choose whether you want to do something or not. When you refuse to do something for a manipulator, it shows them that you have he power to make your own decisions.
I do not feel that way.
Manipulators will always try to trick you into feeling the way they want you to feel. Since they are controlling your mind, you will often hear them telling you what you feel. Sometimes you feel like you can relate, well No. You are just being brainwashed into believing what you have heard and in the end you will end up feeling that way.
If you however tell a manipulator that is bot how you feel, they will feel like they have lost all the power over you and most importantly, you will have saved yourself from a manipulation situation.
Let us change the topic.
Since manipulators want to always be in control of everything, they want to dictate the conversation and where it is going simply because they are driving you into a corner with that particular conversation. If you tell them that you want to change the drive of the conversation, hat means they are losing the grip over you and there is nothing they can do about it.
Don’t tell me what I should feel.
Normalize letting yourself feel what you want rather than what someone else wants you to feel. When a manipulator tells you what to feel, you should then keep your stance and tell them off. Simply say, ‘Don’t tell me what I should feel.’ And that will be enough. They will know that you are escaping their maze.
Frequently Asked Questions.
How do you get rid of a manipulative person?
Always procrastinate. To handle manipulation, postpone your answer to give yourself time to ponder, question their intent, look disinterested by not reacting, establish boundaries and say no firmly, maintain your self-respect by not apologizing when they blame you for their problems, and apply fogging to acknowledge any mistakes
What are manipulators afraid of?
They are afraid of vulnerability. Manipulators seldom express their needs, desires, or true feelings.
How do you break free of a manipulator?
Focus on the what, why, when, and how of your own life and also remember the most important thing. Give up trying to manipulate the manipulators. Let their demands go. Let them focus on fulfilling their own needs while you work on taking care of your wants and needs. Then you will be getting somewhere.
How do you break the cycle of a manipulator?
Assert Yourself. This starts with no longer responding to their techniques the way you used to. You say “no” if you don't want to, or speak your mind even if they don't like it. Work on feeling okay with how they might respond negatively. If it's not yours, don't pick it up
What triggers a manipulator?
Chronic manipulation is often used as a survival mechanism to cope with a challenging or competitive environment, especially when one lacks relative power and control. Pathological manipulation may also be the result of family, social, societal, or professional conditionin
