Grief and loss are a few of those topics that people would love to address but are afraid that hey may not have the right words to express themselves. If you ever had a grieving friend then you know what I am talking about. Looking at your friend or relative that is grieving while you struggle to find the words to say to them is one of the toughest things you will get to experience.
It feels as if you wanna reach out to them and comfort them but you feel like you do not have the right words to say to comfort them. In the end, you feel helpless and at the same time, you feel like you are of no use to them. Guess what? They also feel helpless at that particular time and even if you do not believe it, sometimes you do not need to say a thing but your presence is enough.
One of life’s most difficult experiences is losing a loved one. It would be somewhat easier if grief followed a clear path, with stages that are very organized, one right after the other . Unfortunately however, big feelings such as pain and depression can emerge all throughout the grieving process.
Grieving and loss can hit you really hard, that is a fact but there are ways you can deal with these terrible feelings one step at a time. In the beginning, it will e hard but it surely gets better as time goes by.
Stages of Grief and loss
Denial.
This will forever be the first thing that happens to a person who has lost a loved one. They will be in denial. It comes as a great shock so it is hard to accept that someone you loved and cared for is no more.
Some people feel numb after the death of a person they cared about. They may even try to carry on as though nothing has happened. It is simply difficult to deal with the fact that this person is never coming back.
Anger.
It is very natural to feel anger after someone dies. Death can seem really cruel and unfair. It can feel harder too if the person who died was too young to die, or if their death leaves you with a lot of responsibility or practical problems. Sometimes you could be angry over being left by this person.
Depression.
It is undeniable that sadness and longing are the feelings we think of most when we think about grief. These feelings can be very intense and painful, and they may come and go over many months or years.
Acceptance.
As time passes, most people find that the pain of grief becomes less intense. They can accept that the person has died and that their life will carry on without them. Rather than saying that grief ends, people often say that they learn to live with it.
Below are a few ways to deal with loss and grief;
How to deal with loss and grief.
Talk to someone about it.
Do not try to deal with it alone and do not try to keep it bottled up. The more you bottle up emotions, a time will reach and you will explode. You will get a sudden mental break down that you will not even have time to prepare for. It is the one sure way to get yourself into depression. This is because bottling up will leave you overthinking and feeling alone which will bring about depression.
Find someone to talk to about your pain. Everyone loses a loved one so you will find people that can relate to what your feeling and can understand what you are going through. When you let it out trust me you will feel less burdened because you will not feel so alone anymore.
It shall come to pass
Keep positivity in your mind and let yourself live everyday one step at a time. This is what we call acceptance. You need to come to terms with the fact that you have lost a loved one but with everything you do, keep in mind that just like every other obstacle that has come your way before, this too shall pass. After all, time heals all wounds, however deep they may be.
Let it hurt until it wont hurt anymore.
Do not try to stop yourself from grieving. This will not help you. All am saying is that you should drop the big boy act and let the pain just pass naturally. It will not do you any good to act like everything is alright when it is clearly not. Allow yourself to grieve and feel pain. It shall soon come to pass.
Be patient with yourself
Do not be too harsh on yourself. You need to give yourself time to be able to heal from the pain and trauma of losing a loved one. Do your best to be patient with yourself as you travel through the different stages of grieving. Being hard on yourself will not yield any results for you but will only plunge you into a fresh depression.
Be physically active.
Do not let yourself be physically dormant. Exercise your body and keep your mind busy because sometimes, it will help you to get things off your mind. Exceeding is not only healthy for the heart and body but it is also good for your mental well being. Keep exercising therefore in order to keep your body and mind healthy.
Frequently asked Questions.
What are the 5 steps of dealing with loss?
The five stages of loss are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These are often talked about as if they happen in order, moving from one stage to the other. You might hear people say things like 'Oh I've moved on from denial and now I think I'm entering the angry stage'
What does loss do to a person?
Grief is the natural emotional response to the loss of someone close, such as a family member or friend. Grief can also occur after a serious illness, a divorce or other significant losses. Grief often involves intense sadness, and sometimes feelings of shock and numbness, or even denial and anger.
What are the three concepts of loss?
Three major concepts associated with grieving are loss, grief, and mourning. Loss is the absence of a possession or future possession with the response of grief and the expression of mourning.
Why can't I accept losing?
But there is some research that can help give an insight into why some people, particularly those who display a trait called “grandiose narcissism”, might struggle to accept losing. Put simply, these people may be unable to accept, or even comprehend, that they have not won.
What to expect after a loss?
Shock, denial or disbelief. It is natural for our minds to try to protect us from pain, so following a loss some people may find that they feel quite numb about what has happened. Shock provides emotional protection from becoming overwhelmed, especially during the early stages of grief, and it can last a long time.
