Someone once told me that trying to keep a secret is just like trying to hold in your pee. It is nearly impossible!
At a certain point on our lives, we have all had to keep a few secrets from people around us.
Sometimes it is because we do not trust those people close to us enough to confide in them and other times it is just because these secrets that we hold are too shaming for us to let them know about them so we prefer to keep them to ourselves.
Whatever your secret and whatever your reason for trying to keep it a secret, am sure there is a particular time when you felt the urge to tell someone about it.
That itching feeling could keep nagging at you, telling you to disclose this secret or at least find someone you can confide in about the secret.
Sadly, sometimes you know that opening up about this secret could make you lose a friend, loved one or a partner but you still have the urge to spew it out.
We all know that there are some things that are best left unsaid and yet you find yourself constantly being eaten away by guilt of having to hide something from a loved one. The urge to say it out never seems to leave you but yet you know that telling them will only put them in a terrible situation.
Today, I could tell you a few simple methods you could use to keep a secret if your in need of protecting a loved one.
I knew it was wrong to keep this secret from Larry. The guilt gnawed at me every single day and many times I felt like giving up the secret and telling him exactly what he needed to know. Every time I tried to bring it up however, I could not help but think of the aftermath. What exactly would happen right after I let the secret slip?
I knew he would be enraged and he would feel betrayed. I could not help but wonder whether a time would come when he would find out exactly what I was hiding. And if that time did, would he be more angry and would he feel more betrayed because I hid the truth from him? I did not seem to see a way out but I definitely knew one thing.
I was not going to be his cause of pain because I could not bear to see him suffer. I had to learn to keep this secret even if it killed me.
How to keep your secret safe.
Do not do anything worth being kept secret.
For starters, if you feel insecure about keeping a secret or if you feel it may be too difficult for you to hold it in, do not create a secret then.
Do not do anything that could require you not to tell it to anyone else. If you are afraid of going to jail, the best thing for you to do is avoiding committing a crime of any sort. It is that easy.
And if someone else wants to tell you a secret and you are sure you will not be able to safe guard it, then it is better to stop them from confiding in you.
Tell that particular person not to tell you any kind of secret. If you don’t know, then what exactly will keep gnawing at your conscience? That’s right! Absolutely nothing!
Do not write about it on the Internet.
The worst thing you can do is write anonymously on the internet! People are not as dumb as they look. In those anonymous communities, there could be a few more people who are closer to you and they are reading whatever you have written down. They could easily put two and two together (it is honestly as simple as playing Sherlock Holmes).
If you are keeping someone else’s secret and they are also part of the anonymous community where you write the secret they told you to keep to yourself, then imagine the shame of someone seeing that you are not as trustworthy as you claim to be!
Lie about it.
Lie if necessary. If there is a person who suspects you to have or know about a secret, they will do all kinds of tricks to try and get you to spill the beans. Do not act nervous. Instead, just keep your calm and do not avoid the topic. Avoiding the topic only makes you look and sound more suspicious. Talk about the topic freely. The only thing you have to do is Lie.
Lie and say you don’t know, lie and say you have never heard of it. Lie lie lie. That is all you have to do. If you lie wish confidence, the other party will believe you are innocent and will never broke you to talk about that topic again. This means you get to keep that secret forever.
Pretend it never happened
Have you heard of the saying that the more you say it, the more your brain believes it? Well, that is true. If you are finding a hard time in keeping a secret, you can try constantly telling yourself that the particular secret you are dying to keep never happened.
The more you convince your brain that it did not happen, you will end up believing the lie yourself. It will start to almost feel like a dream you had but could not recall so clearly. Thank me later!
Never write it on a piece of paper.
Don’t do that “Dear Diary cr*p". It will only get you caught. Keeping such vital information in a journal, a book, or a diary could pose a threat of it being disclosed. Someone could always land on that piece of paper and read it, hence discovering your secret. The best thing you can do is keep it in your head because no one will go looking for it there.
Confide in yourself
Look at yourself in a mirror and say the secret out as long as you have confirmed that your alone at that particular moment.
Saying it out loud will calm you because if you are dying to say it out, your lips will most definitely only settle if you say it out loud. Your reflection will never tell anyone else about it as long as you are sure no one else was close enough to listen in.
Tell it to your pet.
If you have a pet, this is the best time for you to confide in your pet. If you are dying to say the secret and the only way for you to calm down is after talking about it then you can confide in your dear pet.
If you have a dog, cat, lizard, hamster or a goldfish, feel free to confide in him because he will never tell anyone else about it (unless your pet can get verbal).
Set a time to come clean
If it is weighing down on you too much, you can set a time for you to come clean. Make sure it is not so far off and it is also not too close of a time. You can focus your brain on the fact that you are soon going to get it off your chest.
As you feel that time you set for yourself drawing closer, procrastinate and set another time again. Consider this as you buying time. You wont even realize that you are keeping the secret longer! Clever, right?
Frequently Asked Questions.
Why is it hard to keep a secret?
This is because secrets can cause people to feel shame, guilt, and worry. They also can create a feeling of isolation that can lead to depression. People must find ways to share their secrets to counteract these adverse effects.
How do you keep a secret without feeling guilty?
Commit to coming clean at a later point. It's okay to divulge only when you feel emotionally and physically safe enough to do so. To keep guilt from distracting you until then, make a personal commitment to tell your secret at a later date, whether it be in one month, one year, or somewhere in between.
What are the dangers of secret?
Secrets make you sick. Unknown to many, living with secrets does not only affect your mental health but your physical health as well. Aside from depression and anxiety, you may also lose sleep and appetite. You feel exhausted and drained because you want to conceal these secrets.
What is a person who can't keep a secret?
A slang term for a person who can't keep a secret is a blabbermouth. Someone who talks a lot about other people, including about their personal information, is a gossip or gossiper (you can say it either way
What makes a secret a secret?
Hiding It. What makes a secret a secret, Slepian and his colleagues contend, is that it's something you intend to hide from one or more other people
