In your social circle, do you happen to know someone who thinks they’re better than everyone else but easily loses their cool like crazy when they happen to get criticized about their character? You ought to know that you have a narcissist in your circle. Narcissists tend to act like they are perfect and out of this World but easily lose it at the slightest criticism.
The term narcissism is often made use of to describe someone who seems excessively vain or full of themselves. Some people tend to pass it off as self love. This is where you need to be careful because there is a thin line between self love and narcissism.
In psychological terms however, narcissism doesn't mean self-love. You can say narcissists to have a lot of self love but it is not really of a genuine kind but rather of a selfish kind. According to therapists, narcissism is a disorder and it is termed as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). It is mind-blowing right?
It's more accurate to say that people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are in love with an idealized, perfect and self important image of themselves because it is one of those feelings that help them escape the reality of their insecurities.
Narcissistic people are usually self-centered, arrogant, lack empathy and they never consider other people’s feelings. They also tend to have an excessive need for admiration. You will also realize that people who have NPD are in most cases manipulative, selfish and demanding. They have a high sense of Importance and superiority.
Narcissists also believe that they're better than everyone else and they also tend to expect recognition as such even when they've done nothing to earn it.
Types of Narcissism
Vulnerable narcissism
For this case, it turns out that this person was once victimized at a certain point of their life. It could have been when they were young, it could have been by their parents, friends or peers. It is safe to say that this behavior is usually the result of childhood neglect or abuse. Such kind of narcissism makes a person sensitive but they cover it up with being narcissistic. For them, narcissism is a cover to protect them from their own insecurities.
Grandiose narcissism.
People with this behavior were most likely treated as if they were superior or above others during childhood. These expectations can follow them as they become adults. They tend to brag and act superior over others, simply because they have grown into it. Those with grandiose narcissism are aggressive, dominant, and they always exaggerate their importance.
How to point out a narcissist.
They are very self-important and aren’t sensitive.
For narcissists, it is always about them. They struggle to earn recognition even when they have not done anything worth recognizing. They want everything to be about them and they find themselves feeling offended when they are not treated like they are important.
The truth is, narcissists are not even sensitive towards other people’s feelings. They do not give a hoot about other people but they want to be cared for despite not returning the favor. The thing is, they consider themselves special and they want to be treated as such.
They are quite delusional.
For a narcissist , delulu is the solulu. They have not found any muse in being themselves and are super cautious about themselves. Because of all the insecurities, they tend to run from the reality. They create a World of their own and desire for it to stay that way so they try to impose it on everyone else.
Deep down however, they are always breaking apart and suffering in silence. They only try to mask it up with arrogance and self importance so they end up creating a fantasy for themselves to live in, acting all powerful and mighty. You have seen the bullies in American series and Korean dramas, right? They tend to have the deepest insecurities you know?
Always seeking admiration and praise.
Even when they have not earned it, narcissists always want to be praised and admired. This is because these are things hey never got when they yearned for them the most. Recognition, admiration and praise are very important to them and they want to receive them even when they do not deserve them.
Narcissists can go to an extent of lying about their achievements just so they can be praised and admired. They will lie about their work ethics, they will lie about their achievements and even their age as long as it means they can be praised.
High sense of entitlement.
Narcissists always have a high sense of entitlement. They always tend to think that they should get everything they want, whether they are worthy of it or bot. Even when one is not in position to provide for them, they tend to try to enforce this on the person they believe should be providing for them because they feel entitled to that. That is quite audacious, isn't it?
They exploit others without feeling guilty.
Narcissists never have emotions for anyone else. They will not care whether they are exploiting others or whether they are hurting someone. For them, the most important thing is to take, take and take until they fulfill their longing. It doesn’t matter what the other person is sacrificing for them as long as they are able to acquire what they want.
They lack empathy.
A narcissist will never worry about what someone else is feeling or about what someone else is going through. As long as they are not the ones experiencing pain or discomfort, then they are alright. You can never catch such a person sympathizing with a condition that someone else is going through simply because they are not that empathetic.
Frequently Asked Questions.
How to detect a narcissist with one question?
Analyzing their data, they found that they could reliably identify narcissists simply using the question: “To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'
How do you test if he's a narcissist?
To tell if someone's a narcissist, look for someone who fully believes they are better than everyone else, expects special treatment from others, and consistently ignores the needs and feelings of others in the pursuit of their own interests.
What are narcissist red flags?
Red Flags When You're In a Relationship With a Narcissist. Downplays your emotions. Uses manipulative tactics to “win” arguments. Love bombing, especially after a fight. Makes you second-guess yourself constantly.
How do narcissists treat their partners?
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
How do narcissists confuse you?
Narcissists use emotional appeals to disguise false or outrageous claims. Since many narcissists tend to be Drama Kings or Queens, using over-the-top emotionality to control others comes naturally for them. Example: How dare you question me! After all I have done for you.
