When you are in a beautiful relationship, you probably think your partner should know every thing about you because you were apparently told that for any relationship to work out and be as long lasting as possible, you need transparency. Yes, I agree that you have to leave no room for doubts between you and your partner and you need to be as honest as you can be.
There are things however that you best not share with your partner. This is not because you are hiding something from them but sometimes because you need to protect yourself and of course your partner from certain things. Not everything that is on your mind or everything that has occurred in your life or even everything you have should be shared with your partner. Leave a few things for yourself.
Aside from security purposes, there is also the fact that if your partner knows each and everything about you or maybe you share everything with them, it gets boring. There is no mystery and there is nothing to discover about each other and this is simply because you have shared every single thing (where is the trill in that relationship?)
You could be wondering exactly how much you are allowed to share with your partner and what exactly not to share with them to keep your relationship going healthy and strong. Here are a few things that you should avoid sharing with your partner for a healthier relationship;
Things that you should never share with your partner.
Their little flaws.
Everybody has a few flaws here and there. No one will ever be perfect, right? Take a look at yourself too. Am sure there are a few things that you wish you were better at but there is nothing you can do about them. There are behavioral flaws that you can tell your partner about and they will be able to understand and try to change them.
There are small flaws however that they will never be able to change even if they wanted to. Instead of pointing them out for your partner, why not try to be supportive with them and trying to help them the best way you could? Highlighting these little flaws could only hurt them and cause multiple insecurities. Take care of them instead of poking at them.
Details of your past relationships.
Who wants to hear about the things that your ex did or did not do? This is a mistake that many individuals make. Drop that conversation because no one wants to listen to you going on about your ex for over an hour. However patient your partner may be, they wont like the idea of you blabbering on about your ex.
They may not show it but hearing about your ex only makes them feel like you are comparing them to their ex and you don’t k ow the amount of anger and pressure that could cause for your partner!
Things you liked about your ex.
Yes, we all know that your ex was not entirely bad to you and they could have been innocent when the break up happened. You talking about the things you used to like about your ex is not the best thing to do however. Come on! Why are you telling your partner about the things you liked about your ex? Do you want them to adjust and also become that person? Think about it.
Your cheating encounter.
If you ever went behind your partner and cheated then later you came out to acknowledge your mistake and tell them that you errors and cheated on them, or even if you were caught cheating and you are being confronted, refrain from narrating about everything you did while cheating in your partner. That is he hardest blow you could ever give to your partner.
It is okay for you to talk things over, talk about the reasons why you did it and try to see a way forward out of the fix, whether you choose to move on from each other or try to rebuild your relationship. Describing your sexual encounter where you cheated to your partner however is like a punch in the gut.
A crush on a co worker.
These passing crushes come and go. There are people that are too charming that you can not tame those fleeting feelings around them. We have all had that simple moment of attraction, not necessarily for a person but the beautiful acts of kindness that they throw your way. Is it necessary however to tell your partner about these fleeting feelings that you have for a work mate? I would say not as it would only create unnecessary insecurities and worries.
What people close to you think about your partner.
We have friends that always have a lot to say about the people we are dating. This is something you can not do away because you can never prevent them from talking. What you can do however is protect your partner from the things you hear about them from your friends or acquaintances. Your partner does not always have to know what your people say about him. It is unnecessary if you ask me.
How you felt about your partner initially.
You may have fallen in love with your partner on the dot but you also could have fallen in love with your partner a little later. It sounds beautiful when you tell your partner that you loved them from the get go. It however sounds so hurtful if you tell your partner that you hated them in the beginning and the love just developed later on.
If you hated them in the beginning, be kind enough to keep this kind of information from your partner so as not to hurt them.
Your feelings about his family.
We agree that you will not get along with everyone. That doesn’t mean you should be mean to his family. Some times, you do not know the importance of your partner’s family to him or her. Do not be the one that comes in between them just because your sister in law wasn’t very friendly with you. You have no right to tell your partner that you don’t like their mother, you know.
Your toothbrush.
I know you will tell me it is okay to share tooth brushes after all you guys kiss and exchange saliva. I totally disagree with this. Kissing is not the same as brushing teeth y’all. That tooth brush cleans the dirt off his teeth and your mouth doesn’t!
Your password.
“ I trust him and he trusts me.” Blah blah blah. You bother have personal phones and there is a reason why it is that way. No matter how trustworthy you want to look, do not share passwords. I believe observing your partner’s privacy is the best kind of respect you can display to them.
Frequently asked Questions
What not to tell your partner in a relationship?
Do not criticize their character. "You can express your feelings about your partner's behavior, but you should never criticize their character. Not only do those criticisms cut deep and damage the relationship, but they also won't motivate your partner to reflect on and change their behavior," says Melody Li, a licensed couples therapist.
What information we should never share?
All kinds of sensitive information. Sharing sensitive information such as your address, phone number, family members' names, car information, passwords, work history, credit status, social security numbers, birth date, school names, passport information, driver's license numbers, insurance policy numbers, loan numbers, credit/ debit card numbers, PIN
What are hidden secrets in a relationship?
Keeping secrets in a relationship may be unhealthy and damaging if done for the wrong reasons. Deceitful behavior: Maintaining secrets to hide manipulative or unethical actions, such as betrayal or lying, can breach trust and harm the foundation of the relationship.
What should be private in a relationship?
In general, the following matters should not be discussed outside the relationship: Financial problems that you and/or your spouse are having. Details of your sex life. Family issues the two of you are experiencing.
How do I keep my girlfriend a secret?
Just like with a romantic work relationship, if you want to keep a romantic relationship secret from your friends and family, keep pictures of you two together off of social media. In addition, of course, you don't want to change your relationship status
