Dating someone new can be exciting but ending a relationship can be one of the hardest things to do, especially when you have invested time, energy, effort, money, and other things you cannot get back. It can take a person some time to recover, heal, and get back on track with their lives. Since everyone is different, there is no define timeline for how long it takes to get over someone or when it is Ok to start dating again. For some, it can take a few months, and for others, I have witnessed it take years. Healing is variable.
But what happens when you move on too fast and do not take the necessary time to heal and unpack any issues from the previous relationship? You can end up in what's known as a rebound relationship.
What is a rebound relationship?
A rebound relationship is a relationship wherein an individual who just recently ended a romantic relationship gets involved with someone else despite not being emotionally healed from the breakup.
Finding one in a rebound relationship can happen quickly after a breakup. For young lovers it can even take an hour mostly when they want to show they are versatile. Some people may intentionally seek them out, while others happen to "fall" into one rather unknowingly.
Landing into rebound relationships can happen for different reasons. Taking note it is typically because the negative emotions of sadness, hurt, anger, guilt, and possibly shame related to the breakup are things they are not ready to deal with. In some cases, people never deal with them, and they take their unhealed selves from one relationship to another. Some people also get into rebound relationships for more petty reasons, such as to try to make their ex jealous.
Signs you are rebound relationship.
If you read these signs and it sounds like your relationship, the most important thing you need to do is be very clear about what you’re looking for from the relationship, and then ask what your partner is looking for. Some times rebound relationships can be a lot exciting but the first indicator is One got out of a serious relationship very recently. Secondly they talk about their ex all the time or avoid talking about their ex completely. The relationship is moving fast or feels rushed. This person doesn’t open up emotionally. Most of your time together is oriented around sex. The person also gives you mixed feeling signals. It seems like they mostly like you for the attention you give them, that’s when you hear that you are a really nice guy or girl. They seem to want to show you off to others or even seem to want their ex to find out about you. They don't want to include you in their close inner circle of family and friends. They do not commit to any long-term plans with you.
How long rebound relationships last?
Rebound relationships tend to be quick and typically don't last long. This is because rebound relationships are usually not built on a solid foundation, and one person is entering the relationship in response to the feelings they have about their breakup rather than because of their interest in the new person.
The reason rebound relationships don't last long is actually related to the reasons heartbroken people seek them out in the first place because breakups and the feelings that come with them can be hard and difficult to manage. They bring up emotions and feelings that can be too much to handle at once.
Is it worth it?
No one is perfect, and not everyone has to be 100% healed in order to move on to the next relationship. To be honest, it can make a person feel better to have sex, get attention from someone else, and temporarily fill any other voids that may be there.
It's important to remember that ending a relationship is still considered a loss. Many people go through the same thoughts and feelings as if someone passed away. Regardless of the circumstances as to why the relationship ended, it needs to be processed in a healthy manner. That often means taking some time and space to reflect on yourself after a relationship ends.
One should take as much time as you need to work on themselves physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. Figure out who you want to be in the next relationship, and take responsibility for your own healing.
All in all rebound relationships tend to be short, temporary, and mainly entered into as a way for someone to heal from a breakup. There is no judgment here. You may be the one just freshly out of a breakup, or you may be on the receiving end of a rebound relationship, where the person you are with just got out of a breakup. We must be pragmatic knowing that what’s good for you works for you.
