To some, it is unfathomable, even unimaginable that a parent could ever be toxic. To a few that have gone through this, it is the worst kind of reality you could ever come across. If you have been raised by kind, supportive and understanding parents, do not come out to say there are no toxic parents out there.
It is quite difficult to imagine how you could wake up to the realization that the person who birthed you and raised you is one of your biggest problems. Believe me or not, a toxic parent is as bad for your body and soul as a toxic lover could ever be, or even worse!
For those that have no idea, a toxic parent is one who puts their own needs first above everything else and ends up neglecting their child. A toxic parent is so selfish and self centered and never bothers to think about their child or what their child could be going through.
Toxic parents cause their children significant distress through their words and actions (or sometimes even lack of actions). They fail to protect their children from a stressful environment but instead create the stressful environment for their children. The instances may involve physically, emotionally, or sexually abusive parents, and the parent may have their own mental health issues.
Some toxic parents are also victims of past related torture. They have bottled in emotions because of circumstances they may have suffered while growing up and guess who pays for everything they went through? It is their children. They feel the urge to treat their children the same way they are treated so their character mirrors exactly what they went through.
For toxic parents that did not go through trauma but somehow ended up toxic, believe it or not but they are just psychopaths! If you ever sat down and wondered about a few things your parents have been doing to you as you grew up, chances are that you were raised by a toxic parent and you have no idea about it. Here are a few signs that you can go by to spot a toxic parent;
Signs of Toxic parents.
Violent and abusive.
Toxic parents tend to be very violent and physically abusive and they tend to disguise this as disciplining their child. Disciplining a child does not necessarily mean that you should be violent with them to the point of hurting them. If you therefore have seen your mom or dad be violent with you with or even without reason, am 100% sure that your parent is toxic. No matter what a child has done, as a parent, one ought to carefully consider a way of disciplining the child rather than violence because violence has never been a solution to any problem.
Verbally abusive
Have you heard of the sentence that ‘There are words that hurt more than a punch in the gut’? Well, it is not just a phrase because it is entirely true. Every real parent out there knows that words have the power to put a child down or uplift them and that is why parents are always very careful about the words they utter confront of their children.
A toxic parent however is too selfish to even think about this so they will go ahead to just say whatever comes to their mind, not concerned about how their child will feel about these particular words.
Very controlling.
Toxic parents are always too controlling of their children. This is because they have absolutely no trust whatsoever towards their children. They impart very many strict rules to govern them even when the children are at the age where they are fit to make a few decisions for themselves in regards to their lives.
Sexually manipulative towards their children.
Have you seen a parent that passes off sexual advances to their own child? It is quite shocking, right? Well, toxic parents do. Sometimes they touch their children inappropriately or expose them to sexual content on purpose.
There are also parents who use sexually inappropriate words right in front of their children. If this is not toxic then I most definitely don’t know what is!
Use harsh forms of punishment.
It is okay to be a parent that worries about your child and the mistakes he/she makes. It is also right, as a parent to give simple punishments when your child makes horrible mistakes. I made it clear when I said simple punishments, right?
There are a bunch of toxic parents however who resort to corporal punishment and harsh punishments like burning and inflicting wounds on their children. That is not punishment but it is tyranny. If you have seen a parent doing this then they are simply toxic.
Expect complete obedience.
Toxic parents only care about themselves so they do very many things that benefit them but not their children since they are so self centered . They also tend to impose so many rules on their children and guess what? They expect complete obedience with no questions asked whatsoever from their children. How selfish can hat be??
They believe they always have the final say and what they have decided for their children is unquestionable. If a child has a somewhat better idea on how things should be done, toxic parents consider thus child rude and disrespectful.
Very unsupportive.
If you have a parent that does not support your dreams, then you surely have a toxic parent. As a child, there are things you dream of doing or achieving and the best thing that could ever happen to you is to have a supportive parent who tells you that everything will work out for the best.
A parent is meant to have faith in their child and support them as they try to reach their goals so if your parent does not do this, or he or she even goes on to discourage you from pursuing something you desire then he or she is toxic.
Frequently asked Questions.
How do I know if my parents are toxic?
They're Verbally & Emotionally Abusive. Toxic parents may also be verbally and emotionally abusive. This could involve them belittling their children's self-esteem by calling them names, humiliating them in public, and using emotional manipulation and Gaslighting tactics to get what they want
What are the Behaviors of a toxic parent?
You may encounter more subtle abuse like name-calling, shifting of blame, silent treatment, or Gaslighting. Controlling behaviors. Toxic parents may invade your privacy or not allow you to make your own decisions. Or maybe they're overly critical and controlling of your decisions, even as an adult.
What is the psychology behind toxic mothers?
Toxic may suffer from mental or psychological disorders that affect their ability to meet their children's needs. They may also have been victims of toxic parenting themselves, and are repeating the relationship patterns they grew up with.
What happens to children with toxic parents?
Toxic parents can damage their children's mental health in many ways. The most common effects of toxic parenting are trust issues, self-esteem problems, and PTSD. However, any toxic parenting can negatively affect a child's emotional well-being.
Is it OK to leave toxic parents?
It's okay to let go of a toxic parent. It doesn't matter how much you love some people, they are broken to the point that they will only keep damaging you from the inside out.